Acceptance
by Minako Nine
Summary: Haruka ponders his masters' desire for acceptance. [very midly HaruKan]


-1My first foray into Tactics fandom; excuse the poor quality and overuse of semicolons (they are my only friends) but I only used 'somewhat' once, so I have a burning pride. I think it counts as mild HaruKan. Because Haruka is a doting person. :D Please tell me what you think of it, and especially tell me if I should give up writing due to sheer awfulness. No, really.

As with all else, I don't own Tactics; my soul, however, is owned by Kinoshita-sama. Kan-chan, I love you!

--

Acceptance is a funny thing.

His master constantly sought acceptance. He had his ways; after all, he was a _tactician_, as he himself had said. Despite his uncompromising attitude, he knew the best way to convince people of his _acceptableness_ or some such nonsense. Looking as he did, he didn't get it from first impressions; he was not a boy, nor was he a man; he had those unusual eyes. He was hard to categorise, and those who fit in nowhere are ignored by all. He imagined that this might be hard, deep down; shallow smiles covered less and less sadness as he observed more and more.

Haruka wondered, but would likely never ask; he preferred to draw his own conclusions, suspicious that outright asking would result in lies, or in silence. One of his friends had inferred that he'd has a less-than-easy childhood, because of his difference from other children. He had reached out to those who were shunned by all else, sought acceptance from creatures who weren't like him, and yet understood him; he had acceptance from simple demons to gods, yet it seemed this would never be enough. Acceptance from his _own _kind seemed the only answer.

When they had first met, Youko had said he was glad that _he_ at least, accepted her. At first, he thought that it wasn't worth much at all. Kantarou was accepting of everyone and everything, never discriminating, never caring for how he might be taken advantage of, or what they thought of him. Time overtook, and so did his observation; he understood now what she might have meant. He accepted her help, her worry, her pity, all the things he would not take from any other. Despite his apparent dislike for fussing, he'd spotted the small smiles that graced his youngish face when she berated him for one thing or another. He wondered if spending time with the aggravating man would be made worthwhile by small gestures like that.

After some time, he'd decided to ask. He decided he might be skilled enough at observing to get an answer, even if the words were lies. He didn't know he'd said anything until he heard himself from far away.

"Why does it matter so much?"

He'd looked up right away, as if suddenly remembering he wasn't alone. "What's that, Haruka?" he'd asked, in that calm voice, with that interested look. He always looked interested in what Haruka was saying.

It took a moment; he almost said a customary 'nothing'; but he carried on. "Acceptance. Why is it so important?"

Kan had looked a little worried at that. "Haruka, is something wrong? You don't tend to care about that sort of thing."

Haruka wondered why Kantarou insisted on addressing him by name every time he spoke; was it to remind him of the bond hanging between them? Without thinking, he smiled a rare smile. "I don't. You do, though. Why?"

His eyes were in motion. They moved around, as though looking inwards for something important. It was interesting. After some time, he shrugged. "Well… it's nice, I guess. To have people accept you." There was a longing, hidden in his eyes; _I'd like for someone to accept me._

"Why worry about it?" He could hear the slight confusion in his own tone; he didn't really understand. "Can't you just command it?"

"Aa," he had begun, a cryptic expression in place, "but then I'd never have it."

He'd gone back to writing, as though the question had been firmly answered; instead, it had left more for there to be thought of. It seemed more in Kantarou's nature to just demand what he wanted, especially if it was important to him. It was bizarre to think of how determined he was to get something, but so passive about actually getting it. "Humans refuse to accept strange things. It's not worth the effort."

"I'm a strange thing, Haruka?" There was laughing in his voice, but he hadn't looked up. "It doesn't matter much now, since I've found you, Haruka." He gave Haruka a rare look; it was somewhat shy, so unlike the bold face he usually saw. "I'd much rather have you accept me, Haruka."

He rose, suddenly; stretched his arms, his laughing face back in place once more. "That's enough work for today! Say, how about some tea?" Without a second look, he was gone; the spell effectively broken. "Come on, Haruka!"

He wondered; humans were too round-about in their ways. "Then why not just ask for it?"

He knew, though, that it wasn't something that could be asked for, or something that could be commanded. It was something that would grow over time; his acceptance of his master. And he would let it; because something in him wanted to give this man at least a small measure of happiness. Acceptance was a baby-step.

_At least he accepts me, _wasn't it?

---

Some comments, and a lot of criticism, would sure be nice.


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